Radiation, Day 11

Nine more days to go! Even though I am giving the big "Hurrahs", it is not without many concerns. The tumor that erupted last week, only eight days ago appears to be growing. It is, however growing differently. Lee jokes that he is growing a horn. Instead of a spreading appearance, this tumor is jutting forward and up. It is very red and has the appearance of an angry mass. Again, we joke that it will help with his Halloween costume as the devil. Today Lee had his weekly visit with the oncologist. The focus was on this new growth. In the beginning they decided that three more intense radiation treatments in addition to the regular radiation would be done. Today, they have decided to do some more intense radiation on that area as before. Lee has begun to show some of the effects of radiation. His scalp and forehead are red as in a bad sunburn. He says his scalp itches all the time. Both his eyes are red as if he had been in the sun too long. His eyes are also itchy. Yesterday we bought some aloe, which was suggested to relieve the itching on his head. liquid tears were advised for his eyes. He has been tired, but we still don't know if that is from the heart problem he had for three weeks (corrected over the week-end) or that he may be in lung rejection due to reduction of his anti-rejection meds. As you can see, Lee is fighting three major battles now, and either of the three are life-threatening if they fail. He is being treated in all areas and we are praying for success in all three. We are fortunate to be here at the Caring House in Durham. Lee is surrounded by all the doctors who are involved in his care. They are working together to help him overcome these many battles he faces. We have met so many people at the cancer center. As I wait in the large waiting room, I meet many other patients and caregivers who share their story. I have found that most everyone wants to talk to a good listener, and I have been able to listen, and then to help in some small way by either providing an ounce of encouragement, or evoking laughter that emerges from their depth of despair. Here is one example: I had observed Becky walking about through the clinic waiting room. She was small in stature, estimated age, early to mid 70's. She rarely looked up, head usually downcast. She wore a cute cap in colors of pink and gray. She reminded me of my sister-in-law. The second day I saw Becky, she was standing by the refreshments area, as was I. Her husband was concerned that she was not eating and was quietly encouraging her to try some food. I began the conversation by introducing myself. From there, the conversation continued and Becky shared her story: Becky is a retired school teacher, mother, grandmother and proud owner of two grey-hound family members. This past September she had a seizure. From that moment on, everything led to the confirmative diagnosis of glioblastoma (malignant brain tumor). Shortly after, she had surgery @ Duke and is following with radiation. She is afraid. I shared a story about my sister-in-law who had surgery by the same neurosurgeon ten years ago. Her eyes lit up when I said ten years! She wanted to know how she was doing. I described how, at 83, she is a very active person, enjoying life. I did tell her that my sister's tumor was benign. I don't know if Becky made the connection between the difference between the two tumors or not. I did not explain further because she did not ask. I do know that since that day, we look for each other every morning. She walks with a more lively step, she smiles and appears to be having a good day. Her husband thanked me for giving Becky the hope she needed. She looks for both of us each morning when we exchange hugs and give progress reports. There are many other stories that I plan to share with you each time I write a blog. I want you to have a glimpse of the wonderful people who are desperately trying to get a portion of their lives back. Please remember Becky in your prayers. I have been overwhelmed at the love I feel that flows from me to the others whom I speak to, touch or offer a hug. It is a feeling of connection to God. I now understand the message from Jesus. We are to administer to and show our love and compassion to those in the most unfortunate of circumstances. Sometimes we miss it because we are looking in the wrong places. God's love is found in the most unsuspecting places. I find it daily here and the cancer center. Thanks to all of you who faithfully follow my blog. We thank you for your thoughts and your prayers. More Later....................................Brenda