DISCHARGED

Today Lee will be discharged from the hospital! Usually when he is discharged, he is discharged to remain here in Durham.  This is THE discharge we have been waiting for.  Lee is discharged to go home to VALE!  We learned this yesterday and we have both been very excited, so much so that I had trouble sleeping last night.................just kept thinking about packing and moving back home.  I finally found and old Spencer Tracy, black and white movie thinking it would lull me to sleep only to discover it was one of the best movies I have ever seen!  After more milk and peanut butter & crackers & advil, I finally dozed off after midnight.

This morning I met Gloria in the courtyard for our last coffee as we reminesced about our journey here at Duke.  It has been as amazing journey.  When we arrived here on May 31st, with Doug and Todd to help us get moved and settled in, it was with mixed emotions that are to this day impossible for me to find the words to describe.  After the boys left, I looked around our small living room and the two large cylinders of oxygen by the door, the twenty small cylinders in the corner by the sofa, the portable carrier for oxygen and all the tubes and accompanying paraphanalia for Lee to breathe.  He had brought his large red leather recliner and the bedside table.  The room was completely filled with unopened boxes.  I began to fill my time with unpacking and creating more moveable space for us.  It only took me about two hours to unpack and when I finished, the tears came.  Once I started crying I just could not stop.  Lee tried to comfort me, but there was no consoling at that time.

You have to understand that coming to Durham offered a 50/50 solution to Lee's problem.  I knew that he stood as good a chance of dying as he did of recovering.  We were now at that precipuce.  We had made our decision to take that risk regardless of the consequences..................we knew that it was the only chance for Lee to be able to have his life back.  And so I was crying because I knew now that we could possibly be closer to losing Lee.  The reality had consumed me.

That was our first day and today I am giving you the last day.  It is with great joy that I write this, the last blog.  This has been a journey that has allowed us to experience every emotion that we have been endowed with.  We have felt fear, physical and emotional pain, uncertainty, disappointment, and tribulations.  We have also felt your support, your love, your encouragement, your prayers, your committment and the freely giving of your time to help us along the way.  I truly believe that we could not have gone through this without all of you being there for us.

I am so grateful to have been introduced to this blog.  I want to thank Julia and her husband Bo for their idea of the blog as a way to help me communicate to all of you.  They were kind enough to establish the blog and Bo spent our last day before leaving teaching me how to use it.

In addition to connecting me to all of you, this blog has allowed me to place my journey for not only you to see but also for me to see.  It has been in the daily writing that I have been able to see the day more clearly, thereby, being able to cope with what I have seen once it was written down.  There is an amazing amount of healing in both writing and reading.  Writing has helped me remove the persistant thoughts from my head and reading what I had written allowed some ensight as to how I would  be able to either resolve or cope with each day along the way.

This journey has provided the opportunity for us to cross paths with so many amazing people.  Fist of all, those who are part of Duke's transplant program are very caring and concerned about the recipients.  It is their goal to assure that the Donor lung is treated with utmost respect in regards to the care of the recipient.  At all times we have been encouraged to treat the gift of this lung as what it is...............The greatest gift one can receive from another family. Secondly, we have met many new friends who have shared their experiences, their history of the disease and through these brief acquaintance we have been drawn into a wonderful support group of those who were otherwise complete strangers.  We feel that we have made lifetime friends of Wayne & Betty, Jerry & Gloria, Nancy & Veda, Justin & Suzzane, Ralph & Coleen, Larry & Martha.  There are many others, but these have been especially special to us.  We have learned that it is through adversity that we are able to become who we are and who we were meant to be.  It is not the worst that comes out in us when we are struggling, quite the contrary, it is the best.   

Lee and I have resolved to do everything in our power to take care of this gift.  We realize that we will both have a change of our lifestyle.  We also realize that we will have to ask our children, our grandchildren, our friends and neighbors to be a part of this change.  Even though we will not be able to resume "business as usual", we can and will be able to enjoy our family and our friends.  There will be limitations and changes, but we are excited about getting home and beginning our new life.  The Holiday celebrations will have to be different, with small groups and gatherings with each at different times and with short visits, but we will still be able to enjoy our new types of celebrations.  We are asking that you give us some time to adjust being at home, allow Lee time to get back into some physical therapy and to please call before visiting.  Due to this being the cold and flu season, we will be asking you to mask during your visit, use the hand sanitizer and to limit your time until Lee gets settled in.  Lee is looking forward to the "motivation" his home environment provides .  He is looking forward to being able to drive his truck again and I believe just seeing it in the carport will be a big motivator.  He had his license renewed when we were home last and it will be good to see him gradually getting back to his old lifestyle.

Today as I write, I look around the same room.  There are NO oxygen tanks needed, No oxygen paraphanalia and I am relaxed knowing that Lee can breathe normally again.  The old red recliner will return to Vale to reside in the downstairs office, "Man's Room" for Lee to once again enjoy ballgames on his big screen T.V.  Even though he cannot return to the Panther's games, he can have his buddies over for football in his room and he is already making plans for his very own "Super Bowl" party with his buddies.  What a contrast in today and May 31st!  Today I am filled with joy, my cup is now full and not empty.  Lee is alive and he can breathe, walk and once again enjoy this greatest gift that we all have.  The gift of LIFE. Lee's final word:  Thank The LORD!

I suppose you knew that when I began showing old Halloween photos and talking about Lee's cat that I must be running out of things to write.  You were right!  With that in mind, I will end the daily  blog reports as of today.  I will, however, continue a blog with updates on Lee's progress from time to time.  We will be returning to Duke Clinic each month for the next three to four months and his time here will gradually be reduced.  I would like to continue to keep you informed.  So, you may want to check each month if you are still interested.  Thank you for staying with us on this, " Our Incredible Journey."


More Later............................Brenda