Insomnia & daylight savings time

This will be my third attempt at writing this blog.  First, aboout two weeks ago, then last week, and now at four in the morning because I cannot sleep!

From time to time, I experience bouts of sleeplessness, but this has been an entire night.  I know it is the result of learning that our good friend who had been @ Duke the past four weeks, died yesterday afternoon.  I had prepared myself for his dying, but had not prepared myself for his excruciatingly painful ending.  I was not there, but the story related to me was very disturbing. 

I will share his story with you. 

During the first few months following his lung transplant in July 2010, a nodule found in his new lung proved to be lymphoma.  Chemotherapy was given and the nodule disappeared.  He was declared free of the cancer.  During the next year, he experienced several other unrelated crisis and miraculously pulled through each one.  We, along with all of his friends, celebrated each of these renewals with joy.  This last one, however, was one that completely destroyed his entire body.  That, apparently was the treatment he chose to have for the leukemia that had developed quickly during the past three months.

He had been given the option of a) doing nothing, and living one month, 2) going home and receiving blood transfusions and living up to one year , 3) or take the strong chemotherapy and if it worked, he could be cured.  After much deliberation with his wife and children, he chose the chemotherapy.  The odds were stacked against him as he was told two out of three do not survive the treatment.  He died three weeks after the treatment with intense pain and insurmountable suffering.

And so it was with a heavy heart, concern for his wife and family, plans to make the long trek to Georgia, that I could not fall asleep last evening.  I must be honest with acknowledging these emotions. I admit that I see the possibility of my being in a similar situation with losing Lee.  No matter how good our life is now and how well Lee is doing, I fall under the dark, heavy cloud of worry when I am forced to see it in another.

So..................here I am, alone with you and the computer, wide awake.....no sleep in site!  Unfortunately, I have a busy Sunday.....Church............a wedding shower in the afternoon.........Will stop for now, soon it will be time for coffee and breakfast................all this on the first morning of daylight savings time!

More Later..............................................Brenda